


The Marauders' Fifth Symphony

by hjcallipygian



Series: Once Upon a Time [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hjcallipygian/pseuds/hjcallipygian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An account of one of the classier pranks the Marauders played during their time at Hogwarts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Marauders' Fifth Symphony

James and Sirius looked at each other and grinned. Their final ride on the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts was complete. The Professors and students were all seated and the new first year students had been brought into the Great Hall by Professor McGonagall. All eyes were on the Sorting Hat as it sang this year's song.

Lily Evans, the Head Girl, leaned over toward James and Sirius and hissed, "I know those smiles! What do you two have planned?"

James gave her a beautific, innocent smile. Lily's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to further chastise him, but before she could speak, Sirius shushed her. Lily's glare intensified and shifted to Sirius, but he just stared back, a faux-clueless look on his face, and gestured to the Sorting Hat.

Lily continued to glare at Sirius, but it just rolled over him. Evans was good, but McGonagall was far better and Sirius had been on the receiving end of her glare more times than he could count. Literally. He'd tried.

The Hat's song finished, and the students all burst into applause. Lily kept her glare on Sirius for a moment, but then her sense of responsibility as Head Girl kicked in and she turned toward the Sorting Hat and applauded as well.

James and Sirius exchanged another happy smile and they, too, began to applaud. Immediately, the lights in the Great Hall dimmed and a series of three large spotlights illuminated the Slytherin table. The applause died quickly, replaced by a quiet muttering from many of the students as they wondered what was about to happen.

Professor Dumbledore leaned forward in his seat at the Head Table. He looked around the Hall, his eyes sharp as they searched for a possible threat. However, before he rose to do anything about the change in lights, the second phase of the prank began.

One of the seventh-year Slytherin boys was lifted from his seat as a loud, wet farting noise ripped through the Great Hall. A second boy was lifted immediately after the first and accompanied by a similar farting sound, and a third Slytherin followed. Then, a longer, louder, and deeper sound lifted up a significant portion of Slytherin House off their benches.

The four farts came perfectly pitched and timed to the opening four notes of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

The song continued, with each note raising a Slytherin off their bench accompanied by a loud, wet, perfectly-pitched noise. Each of the Slytherins looked angry, embarrassed, or some combination thereof, but they stayed in their seats. The complicated Charms work laid down by James and Sirius over the course of a week late in the previous school year kept them in their seats until the song was done.

Remus, slack-jawed, looked over at James and Sirius. The two boys grinned even wider and nodded to their fellow Marauder. Beethoven's Fifth was Remus's favorite classical piece, something which the other Marauders -- much more into rock than anything else -- often teased him about.

A few minutes later, the song ended and the entire Great Hall sat silently. Most of the students were too stunned by the timing and scale of the prank to react. The First Years about to be sorted stared, wide-eyed, at the Slytherin table. Professor McGonagall glared over where the Marauders were seated, already convinced of the perpetrators. The Slytherins, red-faced, furious, and embarrassed, also stared over at the end of the Gryffindor table.

Before anyone else could act, however, Professor Dumbledore spoke. "Ah, music. Truly a magic all of its own."

Every single person in the Great Hall turned to stare incredulously at the Headmaster.

But incredulous stares had long-ago lost their effect on Albus Dumbledore. He smiled serenely, a slight twinkle in his eyes, and said, "Shall we commence the Sorting, Professor McGonagall?"

McGonagall stared at the Headmaster for a moment, her face blank, before she nodded. She turned back to the First Years and smiled. "Now, when I call your name, come forward and place the Sorting Hat upon your head."

The children came forward to be sorted. Everything seemed to be over and back to normal until the first new student was sorted into Slytherin. Right after the Sorting Hat's verdict, but before anyone could applaud, the entire Slytherin table was lifted up by a loud fart. This repeated for every student sorted into Slytherin.

\----

Harry looked at Professor McGonagall, a slightly disgusted expression on his face. "You're telling me my dad's best prank ever was basically just one huge fart joke set to classical music?" he said.

Professor McGonagall smiled at Harry's reaction. He really was more like Lily than anyone usually gave him credit for. "Subject matter aside, it was quite the impressive Charms work. It was three years before Professor Flitwick got rid of the welcome to Slytherin house."

"Wow," Harry said softly. "It took three years for the Charms Professor to figure out how to banish the Charms my dad and Sirius put up in their seventh year? Wicked."

"Well -- That's not precisely what I said," Professor McGonagall pointed out.


End file.
